Issue No. 3: The Watsu

December 23, 2019

Dear Readers,

I had all of these cute little half-baked ideas for what Issue 3 would include, but then I got a Watsu.

I was on vacation in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, blissfully surrendering to the pre-planned activities of my boyfriend's family vacation. On Thanksgiving Day, a more geriatric member of the group had booked a Watsu, but then decided that they weren't up for it. Suddenly, a Watsu was up for grabs.

You might know what a Watsu is. But you also might not know what a Watsu is; it's ok, neither did I. When I look at my life, I spent significantly more time not knowing what a Watsu is. The Watsu itself has given me such a perspective so that I may now divide my life into two categories, B.W. and A.W. (Before Watsu and After Watsu), but more on that later.

It seemed like everyone wanted me, a newcomer in this family group, to take the vacant Watsu slot. I received a few varied but enthusiastic pieces of insight from members of the family who were familiar with what a Watsu entailed, none of which were from personal experience. The words "funny" and "intimate" were used to describe this massage that happens in a hot tub. Well, warm pool. There's a large man, he holds you like a baby, you might laugh, it might change your life. All of these strange pieces of information didn't seem to add up.

I was in vacation mode, 1.5 mojitos into my day, already deeply chilled out from a morning walking on the beach and floating in the pool. What did I have to lose? Absolutely nothing. I was perfectly primed for a new experience, so I said "put me down for 1 Watsu."

The encounter began with an introduction. My masseur's name was Rosemary. She was notably not a large man and in fact, a small woman. She smelled like she had just washed her hair. We chatted briefly about my prior Watsu credentials (none) and she primed me a little on what to expect. I donned my earplugs and we entered the tepid pool.

From Rosemary I received a vibe of deep, maternal caring. She so gently cradled my head in the water, guiding my body to float very, very, very slowly. Oh my god so slowly. I focused on the Urban Outfitters home decor pattern looking palm trees above me and stifled laughter. Rosemary's face, so close to mine. I can't possibly look at her, but she's right in my peripheral vision she's RIGHT THERE so I close my eyes to make it less awkward.

As I am so tenderly pushed and pulled through the water, my spine cracking and my joints opening up, I reflected on a few things.

1. Much like this Onion headline, I made the decisive choice to take a 1-hour break from feeling guilt about neocolonialist resort culture to enjoy my massage.
2. How great would it be to make a Watsu Barbie? Complete with hot tub, tiny ear plugs, and flexible limbs. Maybe Barbie is the masseuse, and she can perform Watsu on all of your other Barbies and maybe even the Beanie Babies, too.
3. I am so stressed out and anxious all the time! The Watsu really brought me back to ground zero in terms of mental normality. In sum: sometimes life suddenly thrusts forward and you are faced with an opportunity There was about 30 minutes between me hearing the word "Watsu" for the first time and actually receiving one.

Moving on!

I'm initiating a new section of the SDNL...

Reader Feedback

Thank you all for your enthusiastic responses to Issue 2. I've compiled notable feedback below, for your enjoyment.

Monica H. said:

Hi Sarah,

Monica here! I'm a big fan of you and your newsletter and I wanted to let you know that I am so happy and feel so lucky to be a subscriber! Keep up the great content! I think you've inspired me to go buy some Cottage Cheese.

Thank you,

Monica Heidt

P.S. I was really engrossed in the story about the two men on a maybe-date. Did you get a confirmation in the end?

And I responded:

Hi Monica,

Thank you for your kind words! I wish I could be a True Influencer and make a commission on that cottage cheese sale.

Though I never got 100% confirmation that those two men were on a date, I have created an elaborate imaginary backstory in which Sven (the Scandinavian) met Mark (the American) on the couchsurfing.com, and after a night of drinking Mark confessed to Sven that he was thinking about experimenting with his sexuality. Sven welcomed this confession with open arms and asked Mark to have coffee with him to talk through his feelings. Now I can walk away from the situation full of excitement for what's to come between Mark and Sven. At worst, a new friendship and mutual understanding. At best, true love.

#markandsven

Yours truly,

Sarah

P.S. This email response has been sponsored by couchsurfing.com

Brianna M.'s feedback: